K. Rose can't sleep because she has first world problems.

“Sleep When I’m Dead” - K. Rose

So according to 19 year old singer/songwriter/dancer/gigantic hippie K. Rose, this song is supposed to be about never giving up and doing what you want with your life because it’s your life. ...But I think you need to be 19 to really understand this song.

Sleep? People still do that?

Love it, hate it 

Love it, want it 

Love it, hate it 

This comes across as: “I am a child. Either I like it or I want nothing to do with it.”

We are dealing with a person who has really complicated desires, but knows exactly what she wants out of life. 

Mama says I need to take a rest 

My boyfriend always wants me home

Mothers and their feelings. If your child wants to stay up all night boozing and dancing, let her. It’s like when you used to take her to the playground so she’d run around and exhaust herself. Only she gets recreational with drugs instead of gym equipment now. 

And boyfriends are just accessories for your life, duh.

True story.

My doctor says I need to go to bed 

No 

I'll sleep when I'm dead

Stick it to the man doctor! Shove that prescription down his throat because his PhD stands for “Party Hating Dude,” and we don’t listen to his kind.

Here comes the rest of the song (since there isn’t much word content happening, I cut it short for you).

Alcohol doesn't help your sleeping patterns get back to normal K. Rose.

Yeah, I’m young and I’m paid

I gotta bad tongue, but I do what I say

Translation: I’m going to list off all the great things about me and hopefully you think I’m a bad mambajamba because I think I am.

Girls wanna have fun, we don’t wanna behave

We got one life, so I’mma live it to the grave

Oh, throwback lyrics! Also, girls, if you’re reading this, behaving and having fun do not have to be mutually exclusive. You can do both. Fyi. And don’t forget: YOLO.

He has such a way with words. 

My parents hate what I’m not

I snuck out, I got caught

Parents, GEEZ, they’re just so lame, YA KNOW, like they literally hate me, GAWD, they can’t just accept me for who I am, UGH, I’m so out of here, MAN, I hate my life, so gonna tweet about it.

You couldn't pay me enough to be a teenager in today's world.

 You know I stole a car and it rocked

Kicked out on the street, now I walk what I talk

Stealing is fun and cool! Lots of role models for girls have done it, like Lindsay Lohan and Winona Ryder, but they didn’t steal a car, that's impressive. Living on the streets means your hardcore now a days right? Can’t you tell by her perfectly bleached hair and makeup?

Really hope she's wearing that headdress during her mug shot.

 Now dance, hands up, and say

Love it, hate it, love it, want it, love it, hate it

K. Rose is part of the large group of people who believe dancing will solve all of their problems. Go out, bust a move, go home, pass out, worry no more. At least until you wake up the next day. 

There's an app that only let's me sleep 5 min at a time, 

so I can stay awake to get more of what I want out of life.

B.o.B and Nicki Minaj bring the crazy harder than a Batman villain.

“Out of My Mind” - B.o.B. ft. Nicki Minaj

You know the saying, “there’s a fine line between crazy and genius?” B.o.B. and Nicki Minnaj, both insane in the membrane, explain a little what it feels like to be cray cray. Not the Naomi Campbell kind, the Batman villain-worthy kind. 

Show us your crazy face.

I'm out of my fucking mind, Gigi Galli, oh my
I was doing fine, once upon a time
'Til my brain left and it didn't say bye
Don't look at me wrong; I'm out of my mind
Like Nostradamus and da Vinci combined

I know exactly how you feel B.o.B., I hate when my brain just up and leaves too. 

Gigi Galli: crazy driver. Nostradamus: prophetic, not crazy. Leonardo da Vinci: definitely crazy. Dude cut up bodies. Eventually the paint fumes get to you. He was one of the first Italian artists to begin using oil paints. And he's an artist, so it's safe to assume he's legit crazy.

You know you want some.

So paranoid of espionage
I'm watching my doors and checking my blinds
My brain’s on vacation, they telling me
And I'm bipolar to the severity
And I need medication, apparently

Are you worried about spies, burglars, and mental illness? Well, there’s a solution to your problem! 

MEDICATE MEDICATE MEDICATE.

Duh. Everyone’s doing it. 

Even fictional characters are doing it.

And some electrocompulsive therapy
I am a rebel, but yes I'm so militant
Still I'm illegible for disabilities
I am psychotic, but there is no remedy
This is not figurative, this is literally
If these niggas go dumb, I go to the mental facility
See, man I'm so out there, I slap fives with ET
I don't need a feature...

So, electroconvulsive therapy (aka ECT). Basically your body gets shocked until it goes into convulsions. Sounds fun right? 

This is a controversial psychiatric treatment for a reason. Sylvia Plath and Ernest Hemingway went through it. And as a writer, I like to look to the writers who came before me, and then not do what they did.

 But what do I know, I’m not a rapper! 

Now enter Dr. Minaj for the “psych evaluation.”

How about scared out of my fucking mind...

What's your name? B.o.B.?
So, they callin' you Bob?
Stop playing, nigga, you know that I'm known for the bob
Couple hit songs, got you thinkin’ you a heartthrob
Well, this thang so good, make a nigga wanna sob 

Nicki Minaj should never be allowed to judge someone’s sanity after rapping about shitting on people (also, can crazy judge crazy?).

Is this a face that would shit on you? Yes.

You don't need a feature?
Nigga, I'm the feature
You gone be the priest, and I'mma be the preacher
You can be the He-man, I'mma be the She-ra
You can be the Grim, I'mma be the Reaper

Religion seems to get associated with crazy an awful lot. Perhaps because of the radicals, fanatics, and heretics. Maybe it’s all about context. Or maybe it’s all about content.

Or maybe the Matrix has us.

Now can we pretend that airplanes in the night skies
Are like shooting stars?
Well, you really gonna need a wish right now
When my goons come through and start shooting stars

Whoa, she inserted part of a different song into this one! Crazy! And then she talks about shooting a celebrity, aka him, so talk of assassination is like double crazy points for her. She’s winning.

Win everywhere!

You know, I'm all about shoes and cars
I'm kinda drunk off booze, Bacardi
I told Baby when I get my new advance
I'mma blow that motherfucker on a blue Bugatti
You know, I graduated summa cum laude
That's why they thinking I'm Illuminati
And matter fact, let's kiss and makeup
I'll help you escape on my blue Ducati
Hallelujah!

Since she makes more than the average doctor, she can afford all the booze, shoes, cars, and motorcycles she wants. However, money can’t buy everything. Like smarts and sanity. 

We don’t talk about the thing we all know is true... Conspiracy theories are the gayer theories of the theory world. We're all waiting for them to come out of the closet.

Back to our resident rapper.

I'm out of it
I can't seem to come out of it
What's going on inside my head?
It feels like I'm being John Malkovich
Ladies and gentlemen, please turn it down a bit
There is an announcement, I'd like to announce it
Wait, how am I'm supposed to announce this shit?

John Malkovich has made it into a rap song. What’s left? Make a movie all about him? Speaking of movies...

Bane? Is that you? 

I don't need this song, I don't need this nigga
Cause a nigga bring the noise like an onomatopoeia
Leave him in the dust, all he see is my Adidas
Na na na na boo boo, wouldn't want to be ya
Never turnin' back, how you think I got here?
And I'm never slowing down, fuck was that a deer?

Nicki’s got the sonic. Bob’s got the boom. 

If you got a problem, step to the office
Matter fact, never mind, talk to the kiosk, biatch
You have no idea
That's why they call me B dot been a maniac ever since I was knee high
Someone call Charter, maybe call FEMA
Cause I got to be crazy or outta my mind to have this many stacks on my VISA

It’s serious when he’s telling you just skip 911, call the Federal Emergency Management System instead (that link goes to their Twitter because they're all over the social media craze). He’s crazy enough to be able to afford that ambulance ride with all the money available on his Visa.

And if I'm here and you're there?
And if I'm here and you're there?

Um, yeah, yeah
Nicki, B.o.B, ho
(Shhhhhh...they might be listening)

Sometimes loss of spatial recognition means you're going a little cuckoo.

You have my permission to go read some other blog now.

Jennifer Hudson and Orianthi's relationship advice: Look like a woman, act like an asshole.

Think Like A Man - Jennifer Hudson, Ne-Yo ft. Rick Ross 

and 

Think like a Man - Orianthi

In honor of National Women’s History Month, I’ve picked out two songs I think will inspire females everywhere to be better women. How? By being more like men of course!

When singing about being more like a man, make sure to look as stereotypically feminine as possible. 

Guys, I mean, Ladies. Here’s the big secret to having a relationship with a man:

You gotta act like a woman
And think like a a man

ITS SO OBVIOUS RIGHT? You’re probably kicking yourself in the vagina for not having thought of it before now.

Why you call me your dream bed
And foolish me, I believe that
You said every king needs his queen, babe
That's why you needed me, baby
Right in between lost and love
You go and mess things up
Now there's no we babe
There's just you and there's me, baby

As far as sweet talkin‘ goes, calling a lady your “dream bed” isn’t exactly romantic. But there are worse pickup lines. Apparently there’s a place between the spot where you get lost finding love and then you find love, but that limbo is where things get messed. 

Vote for Ryan Gosling as Hottest Feminist today! 

There was us, there was trust
There was happen and change, I know
Silly you, silly me, silly us, what a waste

Because if a relationship doesn’t actually work out, it was an entire waste of time. There was nothing learned, nothing gained. And you get your heart broken.

But apparently you can prevent that. 

But in love, love, love
You gotta act like a woman and think like a man
But in love, love, love
You gotta act like a woman and think like a man

Yes, thinking like a man will solve all your relationships woes. This may be a little confusing, but it’s really rather simple. Instead of using “woman logic,” apply “man logic” to certain situations. Example: 

So different but the same,
Boy you taught me everything
Yeah, you showed me how you think,
You're the only one to blame
It's such a shame,
Yeah you lost the game, but you taught me how to play

Ever notice how women are defined by being everything a man is not? The only thing in common it seems is how both turn into assholes when they try to make a commitment to each other. But hey, the relationship wasn’t a colossal waste of time because now she knows how to think like a man and therefore will never be played again by a man. 

B-TEE-DUBS, it was all his fault.

So that was about an “adult” relationshit. Here’s a teenage one.

Orianthi would like you to remember she plays guitar as good as the boys.

Must be you if the phone don't ring

Here I am obsessing

He loves me, yeah, he loves me not

I tell myself I should just learn to shut up

No, I need to be like you

Really, she should just shut up because all that negative thinking certainly doesn’t help her. Acting more like the asshole she likes will totally help her get over her feelings of inadequacy, or whatever self-esteem issues she’s having about this guy. Obvi.

Ignore my emotions, emotions are dumb

Surfing the channels till my senses are numb

Shorten my attention span,

I should think like a man

Stick my foot in my mouth and just run away

Turn off my cell, I ain't got nothing to say

Disappear and not give a damn

I should think like a man

I should think like a man

Emotions are so dumb, she can’t even give you words to tell you how dumb they are. They’re just too dumb. So dumb, she’s going to ignore them until she feels stupid enough to run away from everything instead of confronting her problems.

Truth.

And apparently men don’t give a damn about anything. That’s why they never have friendships, or call their parents, or get married to women they love and have children they take care of. But perhaps she really means “boy” instead of “man.”

Oblivious, it must be nice

Nothing spoils your appetite

You’re checking out every blonde in sight

You’re telling me that it's just all in my mind

Yeah I want to be like you

If she wants to be “oblivious” and hit on blondes, she can. Not sure what’s stopping her, besides her need to whine and complain about how he’s not paying enough attention to her.

I could save myself so much trouble

I could save myself this heartache

But it's the best advice I know I'll never ever take

So she can see that this is a problematic situation. And she knows the solution. 

BUT SHE’S NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT LOL what a stupid betch 

Yea I got to, I need to, I want to be like you

Inform me if I’m wrong, but aren’t the people you admire the ones you want to be like? Not the ones who cause you pain? 

Listen women (particularly the ladies writing these songs), don’t assume thinking like a man will make your relationships any better. Then it will be two men in a relationship. And unless you're both gay men, that’s just a friendship. With benefits. 

Katy Perry deals with divorce through music and blue hair.

“Part Of Me” - Katy Perry 

This is a break up song to rival all break up songs. Why? Because for once it’s not a pop song about Romeo and Juliet breaking up. It’s about two adults ending a marriage. 

Lyric videos are so hot right now.

Days like this I want to drive away

Pack my bags and watch your shadow fade

You chewed me up and spit me out

Like I was poison in your mouth

You took my light, you drained me down

But that was then and this is now

Now look at me

Katy is a classy lady. And she certainly sets the example. Do you see her boohoo-ing or acting a hot mess in public after her divorce? No. Probably because she’s, you know, an adult. 

So instead of driving away, she performs at the Grammys (don’t we all wish we could have that option?).

Bombshell blue at the Grammys.

This is the part of me

That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no

This is the part of me

That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no

Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows

But you’re not gonna break my soul

This is the part of me

That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no

Guesses as to which “part” she is referring to:

1. “Her heart!” say the romantics.

1. “Her faith!” say the religious.

1. “Her money...” say the RustyRockets’ fans.

Nay, says I.

She may look a little like a Power Ranger, but I wouldn't mess with her.

In the aftermath of divorce, what’s she got left that’s hers alone, after sharing everything with someone else? Music. Also: Talent. A career in something she loves. A kickass song.

I just wanna throw my phone away

Find out who is really there for me

You ripped me off your love was cheap

Was always tearing at the seams

I fell deep, you let me down

But that was then and this is now

Now look at me

Designer label love is hard to come by for international pop stars. But then again, this isn’t 1800s England,. Jane Austen didn’t have a smartphone (but imagine if she did?).

Throwing he phone away must be hard for someone who tweets as often as Katy does. Good thing she knows technology is one of her enemies in trying to get over her ex. 

Off-brand love just doesn’t cut it for Katy.

Now look at me I’m sparkling

A firework, a dancing flame

You won't ever put me out again

I’m glowin’ oh whoa

Self-referential in your own song? Approved.

This part was put in special for soon-to-be-ex-husband Russel Brand. 

So you can keep the diamond ring

It don't mean nothing anyway

Here’s the original, written for ex-bf Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes.

You can keep the dog for me
I never liked him anyway

Clearly she has grown up over the years if she’s exchanging a dog for a ring.

Don't worry. There's a book for that.

In fact you can keep everything yeah, yeah

Except for me

Kudos to Katy Perry for being progressive with this song. Divorce is still not an easy subject to talk about, especially within a song. He may get fido, but he doesn't get her work. Being an individual that has something they care about besides another person, however cliche that sounds, could actually be the thing that helps you get your life together after a breakup.

It’s also just a nice change from other negative breakup songs out there. Like the one involving a Louisville slugger. 

Here’s an excellent article written to empathize with ex-Cali gov Schwarzenegger’s wife Maria Shriver that talks about 10 other songs discussing divorce/separation.