Kelly Rowland wants to motivate you to live a healthier lifestyle.

“Motivation” - Kelly Rowland ft. Lil Wayne

So if you’re reading this blog, you probably have a pretty R-rated mind. Hey, I’m just callin’ it as I see it. But instead of donning my skeeze spectacles, this time I’ve attempted to save these lyrics written by Jim Jonsin, Rico Love, Daniel Morris, and, of course, Lil Wayne. Lets get ready to WERK IT!

I prefer sweats when I work out, but thats me.

This is going to be your new workout song. We can call it the Skankout. Ready to pump it up? 

“Go, go, go, go

Oh lover, don’t you dare slow down

Go longer, you can last more rounds

Push harder, you're almost there now

So go lover, make mama proud”

These are words of encouragement you can say to a friend at the gym. Lover is a term of endearment. Say it to your sister, your trainer, your bro, your fellow gym goer. You want them to know you have faith in them, they can push through that last set, they can do it. You want someone to give that last push, just tell them to think of their mom. Guaranteed to boost moral. Especially if you’re trying to do those few last push ups.

Make sure you're the only one of the opposite sex at the gym. This how you make yourself give 110%. 

“And when we're done, I don’t wanna feel my legs

And when we're done, I just wanna feel your hands all over me, baby

but you can’t stop there, music still playing in the background

And you're almost there

You can do it, I believe in you, baby

So close from here”

How do you know you’ve have a good workout and given all you got? You can’t feel your legs. After a marathon run or finally being able to swim a mile in the pool, all anyone wants is a high five or a hug. And if you’re other workout song is still playing in the background, don’t stop! Kelly Rowland and I believe in you.

You think the guys from Jersey Shore stop when they can't feel their legs? No way. They stop when they no longer feel their arms when they fistpump. Juicehead workouts man.

“Baby I’ma be your motivation

Go, go, go, go

Motivation

Go, go, go, go”

You know who else can be your motivation? Richard muthafuckin’ Simmons.

“Is it getting hot in here?! Or is it just YOU!!!”

Here comes Lil Wayne with some words of encouragement about how he works out.

“Uh, girl I turn that thing into a rainforest

Rain on my head, call that brainstorming

Yeah this is deep, oh but I go deeper

Make you lose yourself, and finders keepers

It go green light, go Weezy go

I like to taste that sugar, that sweet and low

But hold up wait, new position

I put her on my plate then I do the dishes

She my motivation, I’m her transportation

Cause I let her ride, while I drive her crazy

Then I just keep going going like I’m racing

When I’m done she hold me like a conversation

Weezy, baby”

Man, you’re just sweating so much at this point in the song, you might as well be in a rainforest. Gross. Lil Wayne must be into yoga, since he’s talking about switching up positions. Thats a serious workout folks. Downward doggie dog is hardcore. 

Sidenote: doing dishes and other forms of housework has actually been shown to be a form of exercise. Its still moving around, which gets your blood flowing! Cool.

You can fantasize AND workout when doing dishes. *thumbs up*

“Oh Lover,

when you call my name

No other,

can do that the same

I won't let ya get up out of the game,

no so go lover, gon’ and make me rain”

Its like when you played basketball or soccer or chess in high school. Everybody would call out your name, cheer for you. You’re not going to let your teammate just quit a game. So cheer them on so they can “make it rain.”

If these guys were cheering for me, I'm pretty sure I would never fail at anything ever.

A Couplet of Things to Consider

"6 Foot 7 Foot” - Lil Wayne ft. Cory Gunz

Lil Wayne and Cory Gunz. Lil Wayne is actually 5'6''. His skinny jeans make him look taller though.

Sampling from “Day-O (The Banana Boat Song” by Harry Belafonte, Lil Wayne has played one of his best games of oral scrabble with his 6'7"" song. 

“paper chasing, tell that paper, ‘Look, I'm right behind ya’

bitch, real G's move in silence like lasagna 

people say I'm borderline crazy, sorta kinda 

woman of my dreams, I don't sleep so I can't find her 

you n-ggas are gelatin, peanuts to an elephant 

I got through that sentence like a subject and a predicate” 

Translation:

While trying to earn money in life, you may not have realized that Lil Wayne was actually right behind you doing the same. Only doing it better.

He can afford furniture made out of money.

Do you see what he did there? The “g” in lasgna is silent because in the Italian language, when a “g” is put in front of certain letters, it becomes a “y.” Real G's are like pasta.

Real G’s also move in silence like the “h” in spaghetti.

He may or may not be crazy. He's not saying he is. But he's not saying he isn't either.

Pretty sure these guys are though...

The Sandman can’t visit Lil Wayne and bring him a dream with the cutest he’s ever seen if he doesn’t sleep.

The Dream of Venus by Salvador Dali. If I had dreams like Dali's, I wouldn't sleep either.

People are either jello or little legumes that pachyderm’s eat. 

Peanuts.

Lil Wayne knows how to grammar. He wants you to know this.

Can't say that!

Here's a cover you might like:

Lil’ Wayne and Asher Roth: Millionaire vs. Middle Class

“A Milli” – Lil’ Wayne vs. “A Milli Remix” – Asher Roth

How do the POV of a rapper who makes “a milli” and a dude from the burbs who never made “a millie” differ?

A milli is a lot of money. You can go on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Or you can write a song that other famous rappers remix. But if you can’t boast about your money, your car, or your chick… It must means your middle class and got no swag.

Lil’ Wayne making quite a bit of money, at just 28 years old.

Millionaires have diamonds for teeth.

He's got it going on, according to himself.

“A millionaire, I'm a young money millionaire
Tougher than Nigerian hair”

Do you know how tough Nigerian hair is? Me neither.

I wonder what salon they went to...

Asher Roth is 23 years old, and is just now beginning to get his career in gear. 

He liked college so much, he wrote a song about it.

Here’s what he’s got to say about makin’ millions.

“A million here, a million there
Yeah you got a mil, but for real dog, nobody cares”

These two aren’t seeing eye to eye on something. 

Weezy:

“My criteria compared to your career this isn't fair
I'm a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed”

Ok, so Lil’ Wayne has managed to make the cover of Rolling Stone.  Twice. But comparing your musical fame to that of a disease is still just a lil’ gross. Infectious beats indeed.

Asher:

“Heard Asher’s Millie he ain't talking ‘bout me though,

Yes I am, yo, you call yourself a man

But it ain't about the money, it's about what you stand for,

This is for my people who can't afford pampers,

Wake up in the morning got my clothes out the hamper”

Preach, you pamper-advocate. Nothing wrong with doing your own laundry. Weezy just got called out.

Lil' Wayne impersonator trying to coerce a lil' kid to the dark side.

His audience obviously shops at Walmart and believes there’s more to life than money. Ideals are all they can afford. Get it?

Weezy:

“I go by dem goon rules 

if you can’t beat ‘em then you pop ‘em, 

You can’t man ‘em then you mop ‘em, 

You can’t stand ‘em then you drop ‘em, 

You pop e’m cuz we pop ‘em like Orville Redenbacher”

Lil’ Wayne plays by gang rules. He’s been known to wear lots of red, to rep’ his gang of choice: the Bloods. Wether or not he’s actually in it, is up for debate. 

Hopefully this pic made it into their "College Yearz" photo album.

This is still a form of product placement that someone with money and influence should’t be  promoting. And I don’t mean the part about popcorn.

Asher: 

“A million dead, a million scarred,

A million bars till' you realize you took it too far,

With your cars and your guns, ha, hardy-har-har”

Asher is getting to the serious stuff now. Why turn on CNN when you can just listen to him rap about gun control? 

But seriously folks, he’s got a point. Guns don’t kill people, out of control people do.

Weezy:

“Motherfucker I'm ill, not sick

And I'm o.k., but my watch sick

Yeah my drop sick

Yeah my glock sick

Am I not thick?

I'm it

Motherfucker I'm ill”

This is the part where he gets to show off all the cool stuff he’s bought. He’s got a snazzy rolex, he can spit well,  and he’s got a nifty firearm. He’s also ill, which is a superior level of sick, if you didn’t know.

Asher: 

“Yo they get to the pros and don't do shit,

Like they Reddick,

When I get that check,

I'm gonna take it right to the medic,

Cause these sick kids need it more than I need a necklace”

Gettin’ nifty glocks is not his perogative when it comes to making money off his music. It’s nice to want to give back. Lil’ Wayne has given to charity, specifically to his home of New Orleans. But he also has a grill shinier than my grandmother’s wedding rings.

One has to wonder if they purposefully chose to make both cartoon characters caucasian...

Weezy:

“I do what I do and you do what you can do about it, bitch”

I hope what he’s saying here is: “I’m a lil bit street, and you’re a lil bit urban. We can still be friends.”

Here’s the final word on these words:

“When I wrote my ‘A Milli’ freestyle, that was me listening to 10 years of hip hop and not relating to it at all. Like, damn, I don’t sell coke. Damn, I don’t have cars or 25-inch rims. I don't have guns. I finally got to a point where I had the confidence to do this thing myself, and I was making music for me. And it turns out, a lot of people feel the same way I do.” - Asher Roth

The content matters when it comes to lyrics.