Pitbull and Marc Anthony Make it Rain, Mostly in Product Endorsement

The scrutinizer returns. And what’s more appropriate than returning with a translation of the first artist to be scrutinized on this blog. A breed all his own: Pitbull. With Marc Anthony instead of Enrique this time.

“Rain Over Me” - Pitbull ft. Marc Athony

"I'm the one that dances with the hot chicks in this music video Marc, not you. Comprende? And give me back my sunglasses."

Marc Anthony starts off:

Girl, my body don't lie

I'm outta my mind

Let it rain over me

I'm rising so high

Out of my mind

So let it rain over me

Apparently his lips lie though. As for him being out of his mind, I'd agree.

Ay ay ay

Let it rain over me

Ay ay ay

Let it rain over me

Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.

“My ex-wife thought her song with Pitbull would be better than mine. Puta, por favor.”

Mr. Worldwide:

A billion's a new million

Voli's a new vodka

Forty is the new 30

Baby you're a rockstar

Dale veterana, que tú sabes

Más de la cuenta, no te hagas

Who knew Pitbull could make such keen observations on our society? Economic standards have changed. People stay prettier longer and anyone can be a rockstar. Oh, and don’t forget to drink VOLI, a new brand of light vodka! The smoothest, most delicious vodka you’ll ever try, PLUS ITS LOW CALORIE! BUY NOW! Not to mention they have a great spokesperson. Hint: he’s in this song. 

“I make product endorsement sexy.”

Teach me baby, or better yet,

Freak me baby, yes, yes

I'm freaky baby, I'mma make sure that your peach feels peachy baby

He's so charming. He can’t decide if he wants this woman to impart knowledge with her mouth or her vagina. But he is going to make her feel just peachy. 

No bullshit broads, I like my women sexy, classy, sassy

Powerful yes, they love to get the middle, nasty ow

This ain't a game you'll see, you can put the blame on me

Dale muñequita, abre ahí, and let it rain over me

Listen dames, if you’re not a class act, don’t even try. Pitbull is one dreamboat that does not let just any dollface on for a ride.

Marc Anthony says aye aye.

Girl my body don't lie

I'm outta my mind

Let it rain over me

I'm rising so high

Out of my mind

So let it rain over me

Ay ay ay

Let it rain over me

Ay ay ay

Let it rain over me

Pitbull provides some more social commentary:

A billion's a new million

Voli's a new vodka

Latin is the new majority, ya tú sabes

Next step la casa blanca

No hay carro, nos vamos en balsa

Latin is definitely a growing population. Songs that are half in Spanish prove this. No hablo sleazy though. 

Mami you know the drill, they won't know what I got 'til they read the will

I ain't tryin, I ain't trying to keep it real

I'm trying to keep wealthy that's for real

Pero mira que tú 'tas buena, y mira que tú 'tas dura

Baby no me hables más, y tíramelo mami chula

No games you'll see, you can put the blame on me

Dale muñequita, abre ahí, and let it rain over me

Most songwriters confess their secret, undying love or how much they hated their ex’s guts. Pitbull likes to confess his sins. Greed and lust obviously being near the top.

"I put my face onto a waterfall because then I can get multiple chicks wet at the same time."

Mr. Worldwide, Marc Anthony, tú sabes

I was playing with her, she was playing with me

Next thing you know, we were playing with three

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

I was playing with her, she was playing with me

Next thing you know, we were playing with three

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Rain over me

Cool story bro. Tell it again. 

Girl my body don't lie

I'm outta my mind

Let it rain over me

I'm rising so high

Out of my mind

So let it rain over me

Ay ay ay

Let it rain over me

Ay ay ay

Let it rain over me

Kelly Rowland wants to motivate you to live a healthier lifestyle.

“Motivation” - Kelly Rowland ft. Lil Wayne

So if you’re reading this blog, you probably have a pretty R-rated mind. Hey, I’m just callin’ it as I see it. But instead of donning my skeeze spectacles, this time I’ve attempted to save these lyrics written by Jim Jonsin, Rico Love, Daniel Morris, and, of course, Lil Wayne. Lets get ready to WERK IT!

I prefer sweats when I work out, but thats me.

This is going to be your new workout song. We can call it the Skankout. Ready to pump it up? 

“Go, go, go, go

Oh lover, don’t you dare slow down

Go longer, you can last more rounds

Push harder, you're almost there now

So go lover, make mama proud”

These are words of encouragement you can say to a friend at the gym. Lover is a term of endearment. Say it to your sister, your trainer, your bro, your fellow gym goer. You want them to know you have faith in them, they can push through that last set, they can do it. You want someone to give that last push, just tell them to think of their mom. Guaranteed to boost moral. Especially if you’re trying to do those few last push ups.

Make sure you're the only one of the opposite sex at the gym. This how you make yourself give 110%. 

“And when we're done, I don’t wanna feel my legs

And when we're done, I just wanna feel your hands all over me, baby

but you can’t stop there, music still playing in the background

And you're almost there

You can do it, I believe in you, baby

So close from here”

How do you know you’ve have a good workout and given all you got? You can’t feel your legs. After a marathon run or finally being able to swim a mile in the pool, all anyone wants is a high five or a hug. And if you’re other workout song is still playing in the background, don’t stop! Kelly Rowland and I believe in you.

You think the guys from Jersey Shore stop when they can't feel their legs? No way. They stop when they no longer feel their arms when they fistpump. Juicehead workouts man.

“Baby I’ma be your motivation

Go, go, go, go

Motivation

Go, go, go, go”

You know who else can be your motivation? Richard muthafuckin’ Simmons.

“Is it getting hot in here?! Or is it just YOU!!!”

Here comes Lil Wayne with some words of encouragement about how he works out.

“Uh, girl I turn that thing into a rainforest

Rain on my head, call that brainstorming

Yeah this is deep, oh but I go deeper

Make you lose yourself, and finders keepers

It go green light, go Weezy go

I like to taste that sugar, that sweet and low

But hold up wait, new position

I put her on my plate then I do the dishes

She my motivation, I’m her transportation

Cause I let her ride, while I drive her crazy

Then I just keep going going like I’m racing

When I’m done she hold me like a conversation

Weezy, baby”

Man, you’re just sweating so much at this point in the song, you might as well be in a rainforest. Gross. Lil Wayne must be into yoga, since he’s talking about switching up positions. Thats a serious workout folks. Downward doggie dog is hardcore. 

Sidenote: doing dishes and other forms of housework has actually been shown to be a form of exercise. Its still moving around, which gets your blood flowing! Cool.

You can fantasize AND workout when doing dishes. *thumbs up*

“Oh Lover,

when you call my name

No other,

can do that the same

I won't let ya get up out of the game,

no so go lover, gon’ and make me rain”

Its like when you played basketball or soccer or chess in high school. Everybody would call out your name, cheer for you. You’re not going to let your teammate just quit a game. So cheer them on so they can “make it rain.”

If these guys were cheering for me, I'm pretty sure I would never fail at anything ever.